What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

Have you ever been forced into bestiality?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What are your political and economic beliefs? How did you form them, especially in comparison to those who hold opposing views?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What! how could you do that?

What do you mean son?

Was Adam white or black (African)?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Answer me this. These days guys love anal sex right, if you present them with your ass they will happily nail you into the ground. So why do some guys think it's "sissy" to let women stick a finger up their ass?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

How is bestiality wrong, but killing animals for sport or trophies is considered okay?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?